A woman scorned… all men are warned,
Is of the gravest matter.
As is the task, if she should ask:
Does this make me look fatter?
A Pizza Advice
Waist Not, Want Knot
To see why we wear belts with pants
Just peek behind some elephants
Toy Boys
Hey, Barbie… are you real?
And do you ever give a thought
To why, with such appeal
We know your friends have all been bought?
Glad Tidings
The rainbow is God’s promise
Not to end all life again
A sign that all He wants is
For mankind to be His friend.
Forgiving past transgressions,
God protects Man as he goes
And so, we’re right to question:
What’s the deal with volcanoes?
Pretty Pleats
My origami friend once told
She’s well-known as a centerfold
And has no current plans for ceasing
While her bottom line’s in creasing
Darwinner
The hunch that Evolution sold
Extolling those who break the mold:
Life’s go-getters, the versatile
Does not include the crocodile.
Throughout its 80 million years
As each Age comes, then disappears
Left standing in the starting blocks
The croc has yet to change its socks.
Quite unconcerned with each debut
Of nature’s latest ingénue
These veterans forgo the pomp
In favor of a stagnant swamp.
In life, the way to win the race
Is at a slow but steady pace
The croc has this down to an art
And 80 million years’ head start.
Utterly Speechless
Convinced my friend was now a mime
Marcel did not deny it
More so, he has been for some time
I thought: you’ve kept that quiet…
Pin Head
Pinocchio, despite his lies,
Still hoped he’d find a match
Then soon learned women don’t date guys
Who come with strings attached
With Fronds Like These
To many an anemone
The fear is any Yemeni
Who ofttimes like an enemy
Sauteed and slightly lemony
Grime Scene
When Carter’s party found the tomb
Of Pharaoh King Tutankhamun
They gazed upon the scene with some dismay
At cups and bowls strewn all about
Discarded clothes, some inside-out
In random piles of total disarray.
Add rotting fruit, some moldy bread,
Old board games found beneath the bed
And robbery was feared with utter gloom.
Though if he’d had a son, or two
He would have known, as parents do
That’s how most teenage boys will leave their room.
Mr Ormsby At Large 